


Catch a Falling Star

by puss_nd_boots



Category: Alice Nine, the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Anal Sex, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 03:26:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5274755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puss_nd_boots/pseuds/puss_nd_boots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kai has been plagued by strange dreams of an alien spaceship crash and its aftermath ever since he was a teenager. Why do they keep coming back, and why do they get stronger after his romantic encounters with Shou?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch a Falling Star

**Author's Note:**

> GazettE is property of PS Company. Alice Nine were also, at the time this fic was originally written, but are now free agents.

The night was about as dark as nights get, just the tiniest sliver of moon, only a few stars peeking out through clouds. Yutaka was pretty much making his way home by pure instinct. Good thing he’d traveled this route from the restaurant where he worked part-time to the home where he lived with his mother a hundred times before.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, his breath misting a bit in the chilly air. He’d warm his hands up before practicing his drums. Okay, he didn’t have a full kit at home – just practice pads. But he’d have one someday.

Yutaka had quit school a year ago for a reason. No, for a MISSION. He was bound and determined to no longer be just another kid sitting in his room listening to Luna Sea. He wanted to be on those stages himself.

He was currently undertaking a serious independent study of music. When he felt he’d learned all that he could, he was going to form his own band. And then, ultimately . . .

He was lost in a fantasy of himself playing drums before a huge, cheering crowd when a light streaked across the sky. Given the darkness, it was more visible than it would have been otherwise – a huge, glowing ball, white at the end, fading to golden toward the back, which then gave way to a blazing tail. It came lower, and lower, bigger, and bigger . . .

And for a horrifying moment, Yutaka thought he was never going to see that dream come true.

Oh, crap, he thought. Oh, CRAP. A meteor. Something out of a bad sci-fi movie. And it was going to hit the earth. No, not just the earth, Japan. No, not just Japan, it was going to hit right . . .

The thing flew right over his head, letting out a screaming noise that sounded like the wail of a thousand banshees. It sailed into a wooded area next to him, where it hit the ground with a BOOM that made everything shake. There was a flare of light, a sudden wind . . .

And then nothing but stillness, and quiet, and a faint glow from where the thing had landed.

Yutaka found himself running toward it, breath coming in short gasps, heart pounding. What the hell? What had just happened? Did he really see . . . was that a .  . .

He approached the glowing thing slowly. It was in an area that had once been a cluster of trees, but was now stumps and shredded branches. And sitting in the midst of them was what looked like a giant, cracked egg, emitting a soft yellow light.

“Holy shit,” the boy whispered to himself. A UFO. He was looking at a freaking ALIEN SPACECRAFT. There was no denying it. A meteor wouldn’t be so perfectly shaped, wouldn’t look like it was made of . . . plastic? Metal? No, this was some substance somewhere in between, like nothing found on this planet.

And then, there was the fact that there was some kind of living thing hanging out of the “crack” in the egg. Not quite humanoid . . . it seemed to be made up of soft, ivory-colored tubes. Like a stick figure constructed from socks.

“Oh . . . my . . .” Yutaka came closer, and saw that the thing definitely had a face on the uppermost tube. Two eyes that were not quite round, but not quite your standard Asian almond shape, either. Two small openings in the middle that he assumed were nostrils. And then, under that, a mouth, with no visible teeth, opening and closing . . .

The creature was struggling. It seemed to be . . . in pain? No, trapped. Had it tried to get out of the spacecraft, and the doorway collapsed in on it?

The opening was about level with Yutaka’s shoulders. He found himself reaching out, putting his hands along the edges. If I push upward, hard, he thought, maybe I can help this thing . . .

He saw the creature flinch. “Don’t worry,” Yutaka said. “I won’t hurt you. I’m trying to help.” He was sure the alien didn’t understand any Japanese, but he hoped at least the tone of his voice would be reassuring. At least it stopped struggling, and kind of looked at him.

He pushed upward – sure enough, it seemed to be some kind of jammed doorway, he could feel hinges move just a little. Well, here’s where all the hours spent practicing drums and lifting weights to strengthen his arms were going to pay off. The movement stopped – and he took a deep breath and pushed harder.

There was a loud creaking, the doorway gave a little more, and the creature slid out, turning a somersault in the air and landing on its . . . well, it didn’t really have feet, did it? Ironic for something that seemed to be made entirely of socks. It gave a little hop and clapped its  . . . well, it didn’t really have hands, either . . . as if to thank him.

“You’re safe now,” Yutaka said. “As safe as anyone could be under these circumstances, anyway.”

The thing just hopped again, tilting its head at him. It reached out its . . . hand? Arm? Foreleg? Top sock? . . . as if in greeting.

Yutaka tentatively reached out, gingerly touching his fingers to it – and felt something pass through him. Not like a shock, more like a mild, gentle flow of current. It suddenly made him feel warm inside – and drowsy.

“Look,” he said, “I’m no expert in this kind of thing. I don’t know where you can go from here, what you can . . .” He yawned. “What you can . . .”

And he was sliding into a lovely, velvet-wrapped darkness, the forest fading around him.

He awoke sitting straight up in his bed, rubbing his temples. Good Lord, that was one hell of a dream. Where the hell did it come from? He wasn’t exactly the kind of person who usually got into UFO-type stuff.

He turned his head and looked out the window. He could see the forest where the dream took place from here. All the trees seemed to be intact. Well, of course they were – it was a dream, right? He’d left work last night, and . . . well, he was fuzzy about what happened between then and now. But if he couldn’t remember, it was a sure sign he’d been exhausted.

Just a dream. He lay back down, ready to go back to sleep.

. . . but then, why did his arms and shoulders feel so sore?

* * *

2004

“We’re probably going to see the new kohais today,” Aoi told the man next to him as they trooped down the hall toward their management company’s main meeting room. These all-act meetings were more than a little reminiscent of a school assembly.

“You sound like you’re glad to finally be a sempai,” said Yutaka, now called Kai. His band, the GazettE, had been the last act to join this company, a little over a year ago. They’d been preceded by Miyavi, Kagrra and Kra.

“Aren’t you?” said Aoi. “We have people who will be looking up to us now! If they’re hot, we can hit on them!”

“You have a one-track mind, don’t you?” said Ruki, walking on Aoi’s other side.

“I wouldn’t call it one-track,” Aoi said. “I’d just like to say I have social interests.”

“Social interests being that you’d fuck the crack of dawn,” Ruki retorted.

“You don’t seem to mind my being experienced,” Aoi replied, draping an arm over Ruki’s shoulders.

“Hmmph,” Ruki replied, looking away from him.

Kai just chuckled to himself. Like a lot of bands, GazettE maintained casual friends-with-benefits relationships with each other. It was certainly easier – and safer – than a one-night stand with a groupie, and less likely to get them into trouble with their new management.

He’d been with both Aoi and Ruki on different occasions, and found the experiences very satisfying. But part of him longed, someday, to find something more.

Reita and Uruha were already waiting for them inside the meeting room. Reita waved at them. “Hey, guys,” he said. “Look what I managed to drag in here with me.”

“He just about dumped me out of my bed,” Uruha mumbled, pushing his dark glasses further up his face.

“I didn’t dump you,” Reita said. “Just pushed you a little. And then picked you up off the floor.”

“Any sign of the new talent yet?” Aoi asked them.

Reita shook his head. “Just the usual cast of characters.” He nodded toward the stablemates they were already familiar with, scattered about the room talking in small groups.

“Huh,” Aoi said. “Maybe their signing isn’t official, then.”

“You’ll have to go take a cold shower, then,” Ruki said.

“Now, why would I do a thing like that?” Aoi said. “I might need those hormones for . . .”

At that moment, five young men they had never seem before entered the room. They were all pretty much in the uniform of off-duty visual kei musicians – dark glasses, jeans, T-shirts with English slogans on them. However, even in that state, and without makeup, their level of attractiveness was apparent.

“I might need those hormones for that,” Aoi said. “Dibs on the little one.”

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Ruki said. “No hitting on them during the meeting.”

“You’re right,” Aoi replied. “That’s bad form. I’ll invite them out and hit on them afterward.”

“Wrong,” Ruki said.

“Come on, if it’s not on PSC property, they’re fair game, right?” Aoi said. “What do you think, Kai?” A pause. “Kai? Earth to Kai!”

Kai’s eyes were fixed on one of the newcomers. He was tall, thin, graceful, elegant. He had tawny-colored hair, eyes much wider than the standard Asian shape, And when one of his bandmates said something amusing to him, and he flashed a smile . . .

It lit up the entire room. Kai was always being told how beautiful his own smile was. This man’s was just as beautiful, if not more so.

“I think he sees something he likes,” Aoi whispered to the others, but Kai couldn’t hear it. He wouldn’t have heard a bomb falling directly in front of him.

There was just something about the man, about his entire aura, that was absolutely mesmerizing.

(And why did he feel like he’d seen him somewhere before?)

The beautiful kohai looked over at Kai. Their eyes locked and held, just for a moment. Kai felt like he couldn’t breathe . . .

And then, the president of the company had to enter the room like a schoolmistress. “Everyone, we’re going to get started now,” she said. “As you all know, we have just signed a new act, Alice Nine. We are expecting big things from them, and we hope you’re as excited about them as we are. Now, let me introduce them. This is the drummer and bandleader, Nao . . .the two guitarists, Hiroto and Tora . . .” (Well, now Kai knew the name of “the little one” Aoi wanted to hit on so he could warn him to stay away), “the bassist, Saga, and the vocalist, Shou.”

Shou. The General. So that’s what the beautiful creature was called. The name seemed to suit him.

“Oh, boy,” Aoi whispered to Ruki. “I don’t think we’ll be able to talk to him for the rest of the day.”

Kai didn’t hear that. He did make an effort to listen to the rest of the meeting, but that’s because he had to. He was the bandleader..

How ironic was it, he thought, that it was Aoi who had wanted to hit on someone, but it had been Kai who found something – rather, someone – he liked?

* * *

_He was back in the place where he grew up, on that road between the restaurant where he worked ad his home. He was headed toward those woods, the same woods he’d seen before._

_The cracked, glowing egg was still there. The sock creature was standing beside it, looking up at him with a smile – it was half Kai’s height._

_“You found me,” the creature said. It wasn’t quite like a human voice – more like what an animal would sound like if it tried to speak. Maybe a wolf._

_“I had to,” Kai replied._

_“You’re doing the right thing,” said the alien. “You have your part to play.”_

_“Part . . . in what?” Kai said._

_But the alien just held out its upper arm and said, “You will know.”_

_“Know what? Why am I here? Tell me, please! Tell . . .”_

He woke up, sitting bolt upright, gasping. A cold sweat covered his body.

What was going on? Why THAT dream? He hadn’t had it in a long time – why had it suddenly come back again?

And why was it different this time?

He got out of bed on shaky legs and headed to the tiny kitchenette of his equally tiny apartment for a glass of water. He clung to the counter, as if for support.

He felt like he’d drank too much, even though he’d only had one beer. Unfortunately, it wasn’t with the new kohais. They had to go straight into the studio after the meeting, so Kai hadn’t had a chance to get to know Shou.

He wanted that chance, though. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d burned to meet someone so badly – not even when he was a hormonal teenager. Maybe he’d catch up to him in the corridors one of these days, or if nothing else, meet up with him backstage at that multi-band festival that was being planned . . .

Kai finished the water and dropped the glass in the sink. And he couldn’t let himself get too distracted by a potential love interest. The band was his first priority, now and always.

So why, when he fell back to sleep, were the two things running through his head a vision of Shou’s face, and an echo of the words, “You’re doing the right thing?”

* * *

2005

The scene backstage at Peace and Smile Carnival was, to put it charitably, chaos. There were bands everywhere, video cameras everywhere, and two rather suspicious characters dressed in big-nose glasses everywhere. (Okay, Kai knew damn well that the suspicious characters were Miyavi and Keiyuu. He certainly couldn’t mistake Miyavi planting a big kiss on him when there were cameras right in his face).

Kai managed to escape out the back door a moment. He needed a couple of seconds to breathe before going back in there. GazettE had already done their set, Kra was onstage right now. Probably his band wouldn’t be needed again until the finale.

He stepped into the night, the cool air blissful against his heated skin, and leaned against the wall, looking up at the sky. At least there were stars and a moon tonight, unlike the night when That Dream took place, when everything was darker than dark . . .

And why the hell was he thinking of that now?

He was suddenly startled out of his thoughts by a voice saying “Hey,” making him jump a little. He’d thought he was alone. He whirled around, and there was . . .

“Oh,” Kai said. “Sorry, Shou, you scared me.”

There he was, taller than life and just as gorgeous, still wearing the white shorts with some sort of print he’d worn onstage. So he didn’t exactly have thighs like Uruha. That face distracted from it.

“It’s okay,” Shou replied. “I’m actually glad I found you out here.”

“You are?” Kai said.

“Yes,” Shou replied. “I’ve wanted to, um, talk to you for awhile, but – we don’t get the chance, do we?”

“No,” Kai said. “We don’t.” He smiled, rubbing the side of his head. “Things are a little crazy with us lately. We just did a full album, and . . .”

“I know,” Shou said. “I’ve listened to it. A lot. You guys really have it together.”

“Not as much as we’d like to,” Kai said. “We’re going in a different musical direction now. A lot softer.” Disorder had primarily showcased the loud, raucous side of GazettE. The material that Ruki, Aoi and Uruha was writing now was a lot more nuanced.

“I’m sure it will be good,” Shou said. “I hope we’re that good someday.”

“What are you talking about?” Kai said. “You guys sound great! You’re a lot more together than we were at the one-year mark.” In fact, the GazettE’s one-year mark was when Kai had joined the band. They’d been a shambles then, in danger of being sunk altogether by bad management. Kai had quickly stepped up as leader, and several months later, they were signed to PSC.

Shou shook his head. “I want to do something that shakes things up. Something that forces people to listen. I want to change someone’s life like Luna Sea changed mine.”

Kai gave him a wide smile. “You, too? That’s what made me get into music. Well, what made me get into visual kei, actually. My mother’s the one who got me into music in general. She took me to jazz clubs when I was in elementary school.”

“Really?” Shou said. “Your mother sounds like she was really cool.”

“I wouldn’t be here without her,” Kai said. “She stuck by me even when I wanted to quit school to devote myself to music.” His father, however, had been another matter, but Kai preferred not to think about him.

“You quit school?” Shou said. “I didn’t have that luxury.” There was the sound of thunderous cheering from inside the arena. “I think they’re switching acts.”

“That means Miyavi’s on,” Kai said, “and we’ll be expected back on stage after that.” Dammit. He finally, finally got a chance to be alone with this guy . . .

“Hey,” Shou said, “are you going to the afterparty?”

Kai kind of had to, since he was the bandleader. “Yes,” he said.

“Great!” A bright smile crossed Shou’s face. “You and I could talk there!”

And what was that warm flip-flopping in Kai’s stomach, like a teenager being approached by his crush? “I’d love it,” he said.

When he went back through that door, the heat and chaos of backstage didn’t bother him anymore. He felt like he was floating on air.

* * *

They managed to settle in at a corner table for awhile after both did the necessary gladhanding – Kai as Leader Of A Band About To Go Major, But They Weren’t Allowed To Talk About That Yet, and Shou as Member of PSC’s Newest Band Who Had To Make Necessary Professional Connections.

Both of them nursed a single drink, since neither was a big boozehound (as opposed to their respective bandmates Saga and Aoi, who between them were managing to keep the Japanese alcohol industry afloat for the next decade or so). They talked about their bands, about their music, about where they’d been and where they’d like to go.

“I have dreams about Budokan,” Shou said. “Literally, dreams, at night, where we’re on the stage and the place is full and every one of them is there to see us.”

And Kai couldn’t tell him that Budokan was also in his own band’s long-range plans. Yet another thing they weren’t officially allowed to talk about yet, since it was still in the preliminary talk stages – plus, he felt almost guilty, making Budokan years before Shou’s band did.

Instead, he said, “I think every one of us imagines ourselves there every day of our lives.”

“What about you?” Shou said. “What do you dream about at night?”

Well, THAT made him take a big swallow of his neglected drink. Yeah, he didn’t want to say to this guy he’d just met and wanted to impress, “I dream all the time about a crash-landing UFO. Different variations on the same thing. And there’s an alien that looks like your sock drawer.”  He’d sound crazy.

Instead, he said, “The same kind of dreams most people have, I guess. Random odd things.”

“Odd?” Shou said, with a smile. “Well, they say that sometimes our odd dreams really are our mind trying to tell us something important.”

He didn’t know what his mind would be trying to tell him with that particular dream, other than, “You probably need to sort your socks a bit better.” So he said, “If I ever figure some of this stuff out, I’ll probably be the richest and smartest man on the face of the earth.”

They both laughed, and that was the end of the conversation about dreams.

* * *

_He was on that same road, running toward that same site, looking for that same alien. The sock-creature was standing next to its ship, looking up at Kai with – was that a smile?_

_“You’re doing well,” the alien said._

_Kai looked at it, puzzled. “What do you mean?”_

_“You’re on the right path,” the creature replied. “You will save them.”_

_“Save them?” Kai said. “Save who? Who am I going to save? And how?”_

_“You do not need to know,” said the alien. “At least, not yet.”_

_“Wait a minute,” Kai said. “Is it my band? Is my band in danger? Please, if they are, tell me, I have to know!”_

_But the creature just looked away from him and said, “Everything that is important isn’t necessarily right in front of you.”_

_“Wait!” Kai cried. “What does that mean?”_

And then, he was waking up bolt upright again, gasping and trembling as he always did.

Oh, God. It had gone away for a while. Why was it back now? Why, when he’d just had such a lovely evening . . .

As he got out of bed on shaky legs, it occurred to him that the dream had suddenly developed a new feature. Off in the distance, he could see a faint blue glow.

* * *

2006

“Kai!” Shou raced toward the other man like a schoolboy trying to catch up to a friend in the playground. “Wait up!’

Kai quickly moved next to the wall, out of the stream of traffic, because stopping short in the middle of the PSC headquarters hallway – more like highway – meant you ran the risk of being run over like some animal in the middle of the road. He saw who it was, and smiled. “Oh, hi!”

“Hi,” Shou said. “I just wanted to say that your Budokan show blew me away. It was amazing. Everything . . . everything I want for myself someday.”

Kai smiled. “Thank you. We worked hard for that, believe me.” As in, an endless, grueling tour, with video cameras following them every step of the way (and capturing embarrassing moments like Kai repeatedly losing things). “And congratulations on the full album. You’re going on tour for that, aren’t you?”

Shou nodded, vigorously. “Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. You’re done with your tour, and I’ve got a little time before the start of mine, so I was wondering if you had time for, um, having lunch or something?” He added, quickly, blushing bright pink, “Because it’s been so long since we got together.”

They’d managed to meet up one-on-one in bars a few times after Peace and Smile Carnival, but not as much as Kai would have liked. He wanted to get to know this man better. A lot better.

As in, Shou was usually the star of his masturbation fantasies. But as that adorable blush signified, Shou wasn’t the kind of guy you just dragged into bed – and, quite frankly, Kai wasn’t the kind of guy who usually did that kind of dragging.

“All right,” Kai said. “Maybe tomorrow? I have a meeting first thing in the morning, but I’m free after that.”

“Great!” Shou said. “Around 12:30? I’ll make the reservations, we can meet up here. Um, do you have a preference? Sushi, Italian, yakiniku . . .”

Anything, as long as I’m eating with you, Kai thought. My God, if Shou had been beautiful before, he was absolutely stunning now. He’d lost the facial piercing that never really suited him, toned down the eye makeup and hair gel, and seemed to be carrying himself with more confidence now that his band was a success.

“Italian is fine,” he said.

“All right!” Shou said, flashing him one of those gorgeous smiles. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” And he rushed off, leaving Kai to stand there, eyes fastened on him until he was out of sight.

A date. No two ways around it, Shou had just asked him on a bonafide date. And there was that flip-flopping in Kai’s stomach that was all too often associated with this man.

He was going to make sure he was freshly showered and shaved before he left tomorrow. He wanted to be impressive, on all levels.

What magic did Shou possess to turn a grown man into a teenager?

* * *

The restaurant was sunny and bright, with an entire wall of glass making the need for electric light minimal. The tables were covered with fine white linen and set in china edged in gold. It was the sort of restaurant one would imagine being used for an American businessman’s lunch.

Fortunately, their visual kei finery didn’t look too awfully out of place, because there was a table of forward-fashion types – Lolis and Goths – not too far from them, providing contrast to the primly-eating, severe-suited salarymen on their lunch hours.

Kai had been relating tales from the road to Shou as they made their way through plates of pasta and a bottle of wine. Shou, in return, had told him about their PV shoot in a hostess club.

“The guys were daring each other to try on the skimpy dresses,” he said. “I thought that Saga was going to do it.”

“So, would you have put it in the video?” Kai said.

“Why not?” Shou replied. “He has a slender form, he’d look good in a dress.”

Both men laughed, and Kai found himself just devouring his companion with his eyes. He wondered if anyone was glancing in their direction and thinking, “Who is this incredibly lucky man sitting there with the most gorgeous creature on the planet?” (More likely, though, they were probably thinking, “Who are these laughing idiots with the dyed hair and the makeup?”)

“Shou,” Kai said, “I’m really glad we took this time. We don’t get to see each other that often, and, well . . .” He looked down at his plate. “I do like spending time with you.”

“I like spending time with you, too,” Shou said. “Maybe . . . maybe we could make time for each other. You know, coordinate schedules. Maybe if you have a day off when I’m touring, and I’m not somewhere too-too far away, you can take a train to where I am.”

“Shou . . .” Kai said.

“Or I could take a train to you, if you’re touring,” Shou said. “It’s just that I, well . . .” He took a big drink of his wine.

Kai suddenly found his heart pounding. Was he looking to expand this beyond one date? Take it beyond friendship? No, wait, he was reading too much into this, wasn’t he? Silly him. This whole thing was just friendly, wasn’t it? Including this date.

“We could do that,” Kai said. “We could definitely do that.”

“Good.” Shou stood up, blushing a bit. “I’ll be back.” And he headed for the men’s room.

Kai finished the last bites of his food and swallowed the last of his wine. The waiter arrived with the bill, and Kai pulled his wallet out – he’d pay for this. He’d just played freaking Budokan, you know.

When Shou plays Budokan, he thought, putting the folder on the table, he can buy me lunch.

The waiter took the money – and Shou still wasn’t coming back. Was there something wrong? Maybe he should go check on him . . .

Kai headed for the men’s room. He pushed the door open, thinking that the thing tried to be elegant – red-painted walls, gold trim on the sinks and mirrors – despite the very NOT-elegant row of urinals.

It was empty – except for Shou, who was standing by the sink. He was looking at Kai with an expression that was far from his usual innocence. “I’ve been waiting,” he said in a soft, sultry voice.

Does . . . Kai thought. Does he want me to . . .

In the very back of his mind, there was a strange image. A blue glow, faint, over some horizon in the middle of the woods . . .

He crossed the room to the other man, his hand held out in front of him, as if he were feeling his way in the darkness. And when he got close to Shou, his companion grabbed him and pulled him in, their mouths coming together.

Kai suddenly felt hot, hotter than he’d ever been in his life. Oh. My. God. Shou was kissing him. He was pulling him close, arms wrapping around Kai, holding their bodies together.

Oh, his lips were soft, and lush, and strong. His tongue was wet and teasing, the way it flickered against Kai’s own . . .

Kai found himself pulling away, head falling back, gasping, as Shou kissed his way down his neck. “I’ve . . . I’ve never done this before,” Kai panted.

Shou raised his head, looking curious. “Done what?”

“Made out with another guy in a men’s room.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” Shou murmured, before bringing his lips to Kai’s again.

The next kiss was as hot and intense as the first, and Kai moaned as his lips opened, tongue reaching for Shou’s, as if to claim it, claim the whole man. Good Lord, the door could open right now, and one of those salarymen could walk in, and it wouldn’t matter, would it, because right now, he wished the whole world could see him kissing Shou.

He found his hands starting to slide down the other man’s back, caressing the skin through the layers of fabric, wondering how far this was going to go, how far they were going to take the danger.

Shou raised his head, and whispered in a rough voice, “My place,” and Kai nodded. He was never so glad he’d paid a restaurant check already in his life.

* * *

They got a cab, because there was no way in hell they were taking the subway. They sat close together in the back, hands stealthily roaming over each other, Kai squeezing Shou’s thigh, rubbing his fingers back and forth over the firm flesh.

He found himself breathing a little harder as the vocalist’s fingers traced his collarbone through his shirt, lightly, gently, offering the hint of pleasures to come. “How much longer?” Kai said, breathlessly.

“A few blocks,” Shou replied, fingers moving up the side of Kai’s neck, the light little touches just going straight to his cock. He’d have a full erection by the time they got out of the car. If he turned the wrong way, he’d probably end up knocking Shou off the sidewalk.

The car finally pulled up in front of an apartment building – one of those little boxes with little box apartments inside. “You do live alone, don’t you?” Kai said.

“Yes,” Shou said. “I wouldn’t have asked you home if I didn’t.”

Kai wanted to tell him he’d gladly have sex with Shou with a roommate watching. Hell, he’d gladly do him with his whole band watching. Both their bands. Plus a couple of live houses worth of fans to boot.

The two walked into the lobby, nearly tripping over their own shoes in their haste to get them off and leave them in the cubbyhole designated for Shou’s unit. Shou grabbed Kai’s hand, nearly dragging him up the stairs to the second floor.

A fumble of a key in a lock, and the two were inside an apartment barely big enough for the two of them to fit in. Kai happened to glimpse out of the corner of his eye that Shou hadn’t rolled up his futon. Good, they were going to need it.

Shou grabbed Kai by the shoulders and pushed him against the wall, and the two grabbed for each other, mouths pressing together in a kiss even more urgent than the one back in the restaurant.

Kai opened his lips, pushing his tongue toward Shou’s, wanting to taste him right away, to be a part of him, to absorb his essence every way possible. He was dimly aware of his hands gripping the other man’s shirt, crumpling the stylish fabric, as if one yank would strip him naked and leave him totally open to Kai.

They broke apart, panting, staring in each other’s eyes, and Kai brought a shaky hand up to stroke Shou’s hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite this way before,” he murmured. “I’ve never wanted someone so damn hard . . .”

“Sssshh,” Shou whispered, hands running down Kai’s shoulders, and then they were kissing again. Shou’s long, graceful fingers were moving down Kai’s shirtfront, easily unfastening buttons, and Kai was trying to do the same, except his hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold onto a button, much less push it through a hole.

They seemed to tumble out of their clothing, leaving it on the floor piece by piece, and then kept tumbling all the way to the mattress, Kai finding himself on his back, Shou on his hands and knees above him, holding him in, trapping him like a spider with its prey.

At this point, Kai would very willingly let himself be devoured.

The taller man leaned over, bringing his lips to Kai’s again for a brief, hot kiss. He raised his head, giving Kai a boyish, adorable smile . . .

Then he moved down so his face was level to Kai’s navel, pressed his tongue to his skin, and began a long, slow lick up his stomach.

“Ahh!” Kai cried. It was sexy, and sensual, but at the same time, it was damn frustrating, because it offered the promise of _more_. The wet tongue felt so good on his stomach, and then chest (oh, and he was avoiding his nipples, all right), but Kai wanted to feel it other places, more sensitive places . . .

“Shou . . .” Kai moaned as the tongue slid up his neck, lingering there, rubbing along his pulse line, making little circles.

Shou kissd where he had just been licking, raised his head, and said, “Tell me what you want, Kai.” His voice was sweet, soft, innocent, and yet with a wickedly teasing edge..

“More,” Kai gasped.

“More of this?” And Shou began to lick downward again, tongue taking a slightly different route, but still avoiding his nipples.

“Yes, but . . .” Kai moaned.

“But?” Shou raised his head.

“Somewhere else,” Kai murmured.

Shou suddenly sat up. “Turn over,” he said.

“But . . .” Kai said.

“Turn over, knees up.”

Kai gladly obeyed. Well, look at this, the leader was being perfectly obedient. That was what made this extra-exciting, though. The one always in perfect control was surrendering that control. He was at Shou’s mercy – and it was delicious.

What was going to happen now? Was Shou going to start prepping him to be fucked? Was he going to spank him – and why did THAT idea send a delicious thrill through him?

He felt lube poured into the cleft of his ass, and he thought, yes, I was right the first time . . . but he didn’t feel fingers. Not right away.

What he felt was plastic being stretched over his ass. There was a moment of confusion – and then, the meaning of what was happening sank in.

“Oh, my God . . .” he gasped, and then felt hands gripping his bottom, hot breath through the plastic . . .

Shou’s tongue brushed against him, lightly flicking against the opening, pulling away, then flicking again. It began to wriggle around the entrance, teasing the sensitive nerves, circling it, tickling it.

And Kai could only moan, feeling like he was melting from the inside. How did Shou know this was one of his biggest turn-ons, that it was one of the things he thought about when he masturbated, an act that was sexy and forbidden and delicious and . . .

Shou’s tongue pushed inside him, invading him with wriggling wet heat, and Kai lost the ability for coherent thought. It was all sensation now, the feeling of his new lover exploring him in a manner that was beyond intimate.

The lovely thing inside Kai curled to touch sensitive spots, and thrust in and out of him hard, feeling almost like it was dancing within him. Kai pushed his hips backward, trying to take more of that tongue in, to feel it everywhere.

He had his head pressed against the futon now, letting out sounds that he wasn’t even sure were human anymore, sweat rolling down his skin, his body seeming to burn up from within . . . his mind was filled with a vision of Shou with his perfect face buried in Kai’s ass, tongue working, and it just made him hotter.

Oh, God, he was going to come, he was going to come so hard if this went on much longer . . .

Shou raised his head, pulling the plastic away, and Kai moaned in disappointment – only to feel a lubed finger push inside him, easily. He’d been loosened up by the tongue play, of course. A second slid in almost right away, and why not? At this point, Kai wouldn’t mind if Shou put his whole hand up there.

He stopped at three, though, pushing them inside Kai, stretching him gently, opening him up, and Kai thrust backward, taking as much of them in as he could.

“Kai,” Shou said, “do you want it with you on all fours like this, or . .. “

Kai looked back over his shoulder. “I want to be able to see you,” he said. “But I want it deep and hard, too.”

“On your back,” Shou said, and Kai obeyed, again, lifting his legs in the air. Shou reached over for a condom and slid it on, then grabbed the legs and pulled them over his shoulders, reaching down to lube his erection, then bringing it to the other man’s entrance.

And then, he was pushing inside. Oh, dear merciful whoever-was-listening. He was big, and he was hard, and the initial entrance was causing Kai some pain – but he didn’t care.

When the pain gave way to pleasure, he moaned. “So good, so damn good . . .”

“Kai .  .” Shou ran his hands along his new lover’s thighs, pulled him closer, and sank into him more, and more . . .

Kai had wanted it deep, and he was getting it. The position was allowing him to be filled, and filled, until he thought he was going to burst. He gripped the futon, feeling like someone at the pinnacle of a roller coaster, danger imminent, but totally lost in the thrill of it all.

There was a long pause, during which the room was filled with only the sound of the men’s breathing, and then Shou started to move, pulling back, cock sliding through Kai, over places made hot and sensitive by his tongue.

“Oooh, yes,” Kai moaned as Shou started to thrust deep again, so very deep. He opened his eyes and raised his head, to see the beauty framed by his own legs, face bearing a look of concentration as he pushed into his new lover’s body. So gorgeous, like a god making love to a mortal.

The position made him feel trapped, possessed completely by his lover, and it was a luscious act of surrender. “Fuck me,” he gasped. “Fuck me hard.”

Shou began to thrust faster, his hips churning, and Kai let his head fall back, moaning, so lost in pleasure he thought he’d never be found again. Every push inside was harder and deeper than the one before, and Kai found himself thrusting with him, wanting him deeper still, not wanting to stop until Shou struck the very core of him.

“Beautiful,” Shou panted. “So beautiful . . .” He reached down with one hand, wrapping it around Kai’s cock, and Kai let out a strangled cry, thinking this was now beautiful torture, his whole body was burning, writhing, glistening with sweat . . .

And then, Shou’s cock hit Kai’s prostate, and Kai let out a loud cry, arching against him, trembling. Oh, my God, what was that? He’d had prostate pleasure before, of course, but not like that – it was so intense, one would think a small current of electricity had passed between them.

The next thrust brought another direct hit, and Kai pushed down hard against him, letting out a noise that was close to a growl. And then, a prostate hit with a brush of Shou’s thumb across the tip of his cock . . .

Kai arched forward, screaming, coming harder than he ever had n his life, the shudders of pleasure so intense that he barely noticed Shou crying out in his own ecstasy, thrusting harder into him, just bringing on a few more shudders for Kai.

Finally, he felt Shou ease away from him, and his legs dropped back to the futon with a thud. His new lover lay next to him, pulling him close, arms encircling him, and Kai snuggled against him, feeling himself sliding rapidly toward unconsciousness.

If there were any doubts about him being in love with Shou, they had just been thoroughly blown away. He felt like he’d found something he’d been looking for his whole life .  . . or at least most of it.

* * *

_The spaceship wasn’t there this time. No, he was walking in the woods beyond the crash site. Toward the horizon in the distance, toward the blue glow, which was getting brighter as he moved toward it._

_“Good, good,” said the voice of the alien, from everywhere and nowhere at once. “We have begun.”_

_“Begun what?” Kai said. He was focused only on getting to that glow, to whatever was behind it._

_“You must know,” said the alien. “You’re moving toward it.”_

_“I don’t know what it is I’m moving toward!” Kai said. “All I know is I’m supposed to save something, or someone!”_

_“Then you do know,” the alien said._

_“I don’t know everything!” Kai said. “I don’t know much of anything, really.”_

_“It’s there,” the alien said. “Trust me.”_

_“What is there?” Kai said. “Who am I supposed to save? What am I walking toward? Tell me!”_

And he was sitting bolt upright again, panting, leaning way forward. Alone in bed, thank God, the dream happened only after Shou had left for his tour.

He clasped his head in his hands. They were getting more vivid, and more disturbing. The alien was telling him less and less. If only he knew something, anything, about who he was supposed to save . . .

Of course, there was one troubling thing. The dreams always seemed to come about nowadays when he’d been with Shou, even if it was just for a few minutes. What if he was the person that Kai had to save?

* * *

2008

Kai hated hospitals. Most reasonable people did, of course, unless they were working in one – and Kai suspected a lot of them hated it, too, they just were in the medical profession for the prestige and money.

He’d enter hospital buildings only under very specific circumstances. His lover of the past two years having surgery was one of them.

Not just any surgery, mind you – Shou was facing one of the most frightening things for a vocalist, having his tonsils removed. Kai had reassured him that the doctors knew what they were doing, that they were aware of his profession, that they wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it.

“It’s not just a profession to me, Kai,” Shou said. “It’s a calling. It’s half the reason why I’m here.”

Here? Kai thought. It seemed odd phrasing. He had to have meant “half my reason for living.”

“Half the reason?” Kai said. “What’s the other half?”

Shou was silent for a long moment, then gave Kai a sunny smile and said, “You, of course.”

Shou was a mess after the surgery – unable to speak, vomiting blood. Kai stayed by him every moment that he could, until the doctors threw him out. He’d have to put in double the time working after Shou was better, of course – no way in hell could his band get off-schedule – but it was worth it.

Especially since Shou’s own bandmates didn’t come to see him – except Nao, who started coming halfway through Shou’s hospital stay.

“It’s not that they don’t love him,” he told Kai. “They love him a ton. Maybe too much.”

“What do you mean?” Kai said.

“I mean, they can’t bear to see him in pain,” Nao said. “Especially Tora – he’s known him the longest.”

Kai was quiet. If a member of his own band was going through this – Ruki having a similar surgery, one of the string players having an operation on his hand – Kai would be there every day, offering support, regardless of whether the other person was visibly suffering.

“You’ve got to understand something about Shou,” Nao said, walking over to Shou’s dresser to rearrange some of the floral arrangements he’d been sent. “He’s not like any guy I’ve ever known – like any guy any of us have known. His emotions sometimes, well – they’re contagious.”

Kai frowned. “You mean, if he’s happy, everyone around him is happy?”

“Yes,” Nao said. “But not just because they see him happy. It’s almost like his brain transmits emotions and everyone else receives them. So if they came here with him this unhappy . .. .”

“But you’re not affected?” Kai said.

“Of course I am,” said Nao. “But I’m the leader, aren’t I? I have to overcome things like that.” He looked over his shoulder at Kai. “Don’t you have anyone like that in your band?”

No, Kai didn’t have anyone like that. Okay, Aoi did sometimes influence the mood of the entire band, but that was because when Aoi was unhappy, people on the other side of the world knew it.

I wonder why he doesn’t affect me like that? Kai thought. Maybe it’s just a band chemistry thing. He knew full well that a band very often had to think with one mind.

“Anyway,” Nao said, “I’m going down to get Shou some ice cream. You want some, too?”

* * *

On the last day of Shou’s convalescence, the doctor told Kai (the staff seemed to be under the impression that Kai was Shou’s brother, and Kai didn’t correct them) that Shou was healing at a rate he’d never seen before.

“I don’t know what it is,” he said. “Maybe it’s just the will to get back to singing again.”

“He will sing, won’t he?” Kai said.

The doctor nodded. “Better than ever, in fact. His voice will be a lot more clear.”

Kai let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll tell him,” he said.

“Just tell him not to rush back too soon,” the doctor said. “Oh, he’ll have someone at home to help him out the first few days so he can rest, right?”

“Right,” Kai said. Never mind that person was Kai himself.

He went back in the room to tell Shou the good news. He did, indeed, look much better, sitting up in bed reading a book, glasses perched adorably on his nose. He glanced up when Kai entered.

“You can go home tomorrow,” Kai said.

“And?” Shou’s voice, though it was starting to heal, was still a whisper.

“And you’ll be able to sing once you’re fully recovered,” Kai said. “Better than ever.”

Shou let out a long sigh, dropping the book to the blanket, and sagged to the bed in relief

Kai leaned over and kissed his forehead. “I have to go for a while,” he said. “I have business to take care of at the office. But I’ll come back tonight to help you pack up.”

Shou nodded, giving Kai a sweet smile. Kai turned to leave.

But as he was on his way out the door, he thought he heard his lover whisper something very strange: “This body is so limiting.”

* * *

_He was walking through the woods, getting closer and closer to the blue glow. It seemed to elude him, though – the more he walked toward it, the further away it moved._

_“It’s all right,” the voice of the alien said. “You’ve passed a major test. You will be allowed to know very soon.”_

_“Know what?” Kai said. “Who I have to save? Didn’t I just do that? When I supported Shou through what he went through – wasn’t that saving him?”_

_“Sometimes, what you seek is not the obvious, but what’s behind it.”_

_Riddles. The thing always spoke in riddles. “What did you mean by that?” Kai said. “Tell me!”_

_“You do not know?” said the alien. “You will.”_

_“No!” Kai said. “I want answers! I want . . .”_

He sat up suddenly in his bed again. No, their bed – only Shou wasn’t in it. At least, he wouldn’t be until tomorrow.

Kai leaned over, panting, hugging his knees. That Dream only came back now when he and Shou were separated, but when it happened, it was as vivid and confusing as ever. He’d never told his lover about it. Maybe he should. Maybe Shou would have insights about it, now that he knew Kai so well.

He stumbled toward the bathroom, the blue glow filling his mind again, so close, yet so far. . . .

When would he be allowed to know whatever it was he was supposed to know?

* * *

SEVERAL MONTHS LATER

Shou being backstage at one of GazettE’s shows was a common occurrence by now. His schedule didn’t always allow him to attend the tour finales – just like Kai’s schedule didn’t always allow him to attend Shou’s – but he made sure he put in an appearance for at least one stop on each tour.

Always, when Kai came off stage, Shou would rush toward him and embrace him, fully, whispering to him that he was great, that the band was great, that they just kept on getting better and better.

Off to the side, Reita and Aoi watched. “Geez, he must really love him,” Reita said. Kai had been playing hard for two hours plus. He was drenched, head to toe, in sweat. He didn’t exactly smell like a rose right now – and yet, Shou was hanging all over him.

Aoi gave him a whack on the side of the head. “Dummy, don’t you see what that is? It’s a tactic to drag him into the shower – Shou’s going to have to shower with him because they’re both nasty. Now none of the rest of us will be able to wash up because those two will be fucking in there.”

“There’s more than one shower in this place,” Reita said.

“Good,” said Aoi. “Just wear earplugs when you use it. Unless, of course, you want to hear them acting like a porno.”

“I never see you bring earplugs in the shower,” Reita said.

“Maybe I like my porn,” Aoi retorted.

Over in the corner, the two lovers were still kissing, cuddling and whispering endearments. The shower would happen, all right – just not right away.

* * *

Kai leaned his head against the back of the armchair, letting out a moan. The upholstered fabric was mildly scratchy against his naked skin, but he didn’t mind a bit.

Not when Shou was kneeling on the floor between his parted legs, talented mouth wrapped around Kai’s cock, sucking him hard.

Kai raised his head and looked down at the tawny head moving up and down, hardness sliding in and out of those plush, perfect lips. There was nothing more delicious than a man who could be angel and whore at the same time.

The moist heat enveloping him slid away, only to be replaced by a velvety tongue running up and down his length, teasing sensitive areas, building and building the heat within him.

“Shou,” Kai gasped. “You need to . . .”

Shou raised his head. “Stop if I want you to fuck me?” Oh, the sweet way he said something so dirty . . .

“Yes,” Kai said.

Shou reached for the arm of Kai’s chair, found the condom, and rolled it onto Kai’s hardness. He reached for the lube . . . but instead of putting it on Kai’s fingers, he put it on his own.

Shou turned around, bent over, and gave Kai a sweet smile over his shoulder – before making a big show of sliding his finger into his own ass.

“Oh, my God,” Kai gasped, watching his lover finger himself, fuck himself, the long, slender digits disappearing into that tight hole – first one, then two, moving in and out, a self-induced pleasure that was, ironically, for the pleasure of another.

His lover was always full of surprises.

“Oh,” Shou moaned. “Kai . . .” He tipped his own hips backward, trying to fuck his fingers harder.

Suddenly, Kai felt like he could see through space and time, watch Shou alone in his room when one of them was on tour and the other left at home. Oh, God, as if his cock couldn’t get any harder . . .

He grabbed the lube, slicking a finger, and pushed it in beside Shou’s two. There was something so wicked, so naughty, so beyond normal intimacy about doing this, about both of them moving the fingers in and out.

“Yes,” Shou moaned. “I love your hands . . .”

“Tell me why,” Kai murmured.

“They’re so big. Like your cock.”

“That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I want your cock, I want all of it . . .”

The fingers thrust harder, opening Shou up carefully, preparing him to take Kai’s considerable size. Finally, when they both felt he was ready, they both slid them out, and Shou turned so he was leaning over with his hands on the chair arms, bracing himself.

Kai quickly lubed his cock, leaning over Shou and gripping his hips. He knew he had to push in slowly and carefully because of his size, and that was slow, delicious torture to him.

He heard Shou’s low gasp of his name as he filled him, little by little. He felt the tight heat encase him, the slight trembling of Shou’s body.

Kai’s head dropped down to his lover’s shoulder as they paused, breathing heavily, letting Shou’s body adjust to the loveliest of invasions.

And then, Kai started a slow thrust, gripping Shou’s hips again, looking down at him as he moved within him – leaning over, ass tipped up toward his lover, as beautiful in submission as he was in dominance.

Even after they’d been together for some time, he still felt like he was the luckiest man in the world whenever he looked at his lover.

Kai began to speed up, pushing into Shou harder, hands moving down over smooth skin, caressing his thighs. A low, luscious moan reached his ears, and it made Kai answer with one of his own, knowing that right now, Shou was as lost in pleasure as he was.

He felt the other man thrust against him, and it made him thrust harder, cock sliding through that heat that gripped and caressed him. They were totally lost in wild abandon now, unaware of anything in the world except each other.

Kai leaned over so his chest would be pressed against Shou’s back, feeling more skin-to-skin contact, and that made Shou moan with excitement, thrusting his hips backward faster.

“Close,” Shou gasped. “Kai . . .”

Kai responded by wrapping his fingers around his lover’s cock, running them along the shaft, feeling the patterns of veins, the slight throbbing as Shou got closer, and closer, and . . .

He arched back, crying out, and that passageway gripped Kai so hard that he hurtled over the edge after him, thrusting into his lover’s body hard one final time as he was filled with one pulse of ecstasy after another, so intense, always so intense with him . . .

Wrapping his arms around Shou’s waist, Kai turned them both around, then tumbled back to the chair, pulling his lover into his lap. They embraced, Shou’s head falling down to Kai’s shoulder.

The post-coital cuddle was an important ritual for them. They never went without it, even if they were just managing a “quickie” between appointments.

“I love you,” Kai said.

“I love you, too,” Shou murmured, snuggling against Kai some more. Kai smoothed his hand over his hair . . .

And suddenly, a thought popped into his head, seemingly from nowhere – but it was logical, really. And inevitable. And, in a way, very beautiful.

“Shou,” he said, “I want to take you to meet my mother.”

Shou just opened his eyes slowly, looking at Kai with curiosity.

“Don’t worry,” Kai said. “She knows and understands my preferences. She even said to me when I was a teenager that if I brought a guy home, she’d welcome him as her son. And we’ve been together long enough that now, well . . . it’s time. I want you to be her son.”

Shou dropped his head and closed his eyes. “Yes,” he said.

“Yes?” Kai said.

Shou nodded, eyes still closed. “It’s time,” he said.

Kai cuddled him closer. It was settled, then. They were both done with work fairly early tomorrow, and had the day after off. He’d get online as soon as they’d recovered from this encounter and make the train reservations.

It was only much later that he thought, for just a fleeting moment, that there was something a bit odd about Shou’s tone when he said “It’s time” – as if he were talking about more than meeting an in-law.

* * *

“I used to work at that restaurant right over there,” Kai said as the train pulled into the station. “It was my first job after quitting school.”

“What did you do?” Shou said.

“I was a chef’s assistant,” Kai said. “Which is a fancy way of saying that I chopped vegetables for other people.”

The sun was setting as they stepped onto the platform. His mother wouldn’t be home yet – she taught private music lessons until the early evening – so they’d be making the trip to his childhood home on foot, just like in the old days.

“I can show you a few other places on the way,” Kai said. “My old school, and the music store I used to go to, and . . .”

Those woods. They’d be cutting past those woods. Past the very setting of That Dream. Wait, why was he worried about that? It was only a dream. One that kept coming back and mutating, sure, but it didn’t have any bearing on real life, right?

The two walked along, Kai chatting and pointing out places along the way. Shou seemed, well, very quiet for him. Maybe worried about meeting his mother-in-law for the first time. Well, that was understandable, even though Kai had told him he had nothing to worry about.

And then, they hit the stretch of road leading past the woods. Kai swallowed hard. Why were the prickles on his neck standing up? Why was he expecting something to happen? Why was the moon just the tiniest of slivers, the stars mostly hiding behind clouds, just like that night?

Furthermore, why was Shou leaving the road? Wait, what? Yes, he was turning and walking off into the woods – just like that, without a single word.

Walking . . . at the very point where the spacecraft had crashed.

“Shou?” Kai said. “Wait, what are you doing? You’re going the wrong way!”

“No, I’m not.” There was an odd quality to his voice. Like someone sleepwalking, caught in his own dream.

“Yes, you are! The path is over there!”

“The path isn’t always obvious. You should know that by now.”

“What the hell are you saying?” Oh, my God, something was wrong with Shou. This wasn’t like him at all. Wandering off? Spouting gibberish? That was the kind of rhetoric, the kind of riddles, he usually heard from . . .

Shou was walking faster now, much faster, and Kai almost had to run to keep up. And all that was in his mind was an image of the alien’s face, that thing that looked like a stuffed sock with eyes, nose and mouth on it . . .

The eyes. Not quite Japanese. Not quite Western.

Oh, holy SHIT.

The very shape of Shou’s eyes.

“No,” he said aloud. “No, it’s not possible!”

Shou turned, slowly, and looked at Kai. “But anything is possible, isn’t it?”

“You can’t be him!” Kai said. “You can’t be! This isn’t happening, is it? I’m going to wake up in my bed, like I always do, and . . .”

“Kai.” Shou reached out, his voice sounding soft and tender again. Sounding like Shou, the man he loved. “Come on, sit, we have to talk.”

“Talk?” Kai said. “Why didn’t we talk before?”

“You weren’t ready for it,” Shou said.

“What makes you think I’m ready now?” This wasn’t like Kai. The rock-steady Leader-san was gone, gone, gone with the wind. Goodbye, ocean of calm that dealt with everything from malfunctioning speakers to bandmate personal problems with a smile and a plate of French toast.

“Two years of us being together? Seeing me through all sorts of bad times? You’re ready,” Shou said. “Besides . . .” He nodded his head off to the side. “THEY are ready.”

Slowly, Kai turned his head in the direction Shou indicated. There was the horizon he saw so often in his dream – with the same faint blue glow.

He found his knees sagging, his body dropping down until it was seated on a fallen log. Shou sat beside him, taking his hand in both of his.

“Are you all right?” he said.

Well, would anyone be all right if they found out their lover was an alien that normally looked like a pile of socks? Sure, that’s grounds for dancing in the street, right? Maybe a few fireworks to boot?

Kai swallowed hard. “As I can be,” he said. “All right – I’m ready. We’ll talk.”

“You sure?” Shou said.

Kai nodded, bracing himself for what he was about to hear.

Shou wrapped his arm around him. “Before I start, I want to say one thing, Kai – whenever I said I love you, I meant it, and I still mean it. You’re going to hear some things that may lead you to believe I had other motivations. I might have once, but . . .”

Oh, boy. This couldn’t be good. Okay, he said, he genuinely loved him, which was very good, because Kai didn’t want to deal with a broken heart on top of everything else, thank you very much.

Shou took a deep breath. “All right. I’ll start at the beginning. I came from a planet called Arisu. It was in a pretty crowded planetary system – we were the ninth planet from our sun, and we still had an atmosphere very much like yours.”

“Were?” Kai said.

Shou nodded, sadly. “My planet is no more. That’s why I’m here.”

“How?”

“Interplanetary warfare,” Shou said. “Arisu was usually peaceful and prosperous, but we had some neighbors that hated us. Mainly because they were badly managed and poor and they wanted what we had. We had word that one of our neighbors was developing a . . . well, I guess the closest thing to it that you’d understand would be a Death Star. Nobody believed they’d actually do it, because the planet had a history of military failure. But . . .”

“They did it?” Kai said.

“The worst part is, I think destroying our planet was an accident,” Shou said. “They were probably intending just to take out one city. They were so incompetent that they took out the whole thing.”

“So how did you escape?” Kai said.

“I used to work with one of our scientists as an assistant,” Shou said. “He was one of the few people who believed the Death Star would actually happen. He built the ship I used, filled it and told me to take it to another planet. I chose this one.”

“Filled it . . . with what?” Kai said.

“Eggs,” said Shou. “My people . . . they reproduced something like your bee colonies. We had a queen who would lay hundreds of eggs. The ones that were properly nourished survived, and hatched. So . . . I was sent with two dozen of the queen’s eggs, so that even if our planet was destroyed, the Arisu race would survive.”

Eggs. Royal eggs, the last survivors of Shou’s planet. Good Lord, he was living in a bad sci-fi movie. Wake up, Kai. Yes, you’re going to wake up any moment, aren’t you? You’re going to sit up in your own bed, like you always do . . .

Except he wasn’t waking up, and Shou was still talking. “I picked Earth to go to for two reasons. One, I knew the atmosphere would support the eggs. Two, well . . .” He looked down, and blushed cutely, seeming like the Shou Kai had always known.

“Um, you know how I said Luna Sea changed my life? That’s not a lie. I used to monitor the media of other planets. Yes, we had technology that allowed us to do that. One day, I happened to find footage of a Luna Sea live, and . . . it was unlike anything I saw or heard before. It made me want to learn everything about Earth, and about Japan. You might say I became an Earth fanboy.”

“You knew Japanese when you arrived, then?” Kai said.

“Only a little,” Shou replied. “I picked it up when I arrived by, well . . . “ He waved his hand. “I’ll get to that part. Anyway, I had just cleared our atmosphere when my planet was destroyed. I saw the explosion. It was the worst thing I’d ever seen in my life.”

Kai could’t even imagine what that could have been like for Shou. Seeing everything you’d ever known obliterated in the blink of an eye . . . he reached over and squeezed his lover’s hand. Shou squeezed back. He was quiet for a long moment.

Finally, he took a deep breath, and said, “I flew, and I didn’t stop until I reached Earth. Except I miscalculated the speed for my entry into Earth’s atmosphere and, well . . . you saw the result.”

“Yes, I did,” Kai said, quietly. So it wasn’t a dream. Not the initial crash.

“Anyway,” Shou continued, “when I was traveling, my body was in a form designed for interplanetary movement . . .”

“That wasn’t your real form?” Kai said. Whew, what a relief that was to find out he hadn’t been making mad, passionate love to a men’s hosiery department.

“No,” Shou said. “My people were form-shifters – we could take the shape we needed for a particular circumstance. We could also insert ourselves into the shell of another creature that had just died. For the trip to Earth, I’d reduced myself to a very basic form. The problem was, that form was very vulnerable. When I crashed, I tried to open the hatch of the ship, and get out, but the hatch malfunctioned and closed on me. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I was so weak I couldn’t use any of my abilities . . . “

“Magic?” Kai said.

“Maybe you’d call it magic,” Shou said. “I’ve found that’s the word Earth people tend to use for any advanced science they don’t understand. But I was trapped, and I could have died. If I had, the eggs would have died, too, and our race really would be extinct.”

“And I found you,” Kai said.

“You saved me,” Shou said. “And because you did, I was able to get the eggs where they would be safe.” He stood up, holding his hand out to Kai. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Kai stood up, taking Shou’s hand, letting his lover lead him through the forest. “Why did I wake up in my own bed after it happened?”

“I teleported you there,” Shou said. “I got back my abilities after you rescued me.”

“How did you know where I lived, then?” They were moving through a part of the forest where the trees got thicker, denser, where few humans dared to venture.

“Here’s the best part,” Shou said. “Right after you met me, you touched me. I was still vulnerable then, didn’t have my defenses up. And it created a link between us.”

“A what?”

“A link,” Shou said. “A bond. It allowed me to see into your thoughts, once I had my abilities back. I could tell your name was Yutaka, but once you became a professional musician, you were going to change it to Kai. You played drums. And, well, you preferred males.”

“WHAT?” Kai turned bright red.

“I couldn’t help it,” Shou said. “It just flowed into me. But I could also tell some other things about you – that you were a genuinely good and kind person. And I remembered that. Because I knew I’d need someone later on to help me with . . “ He raised his hand. “I’ll get to that. There was something else I needed to do first.”

“Which was?” Kai said, slightly frustrated that Shou had kind of danced around the “Kai’s role in saving someone” part.

“I needed to make a living,” Shou said. “And I couldn’t think of any way of doing that other than being a musician, a vocalist. So I went to Tokyo. I knew that’s where most of the musicians were.”

“So how did you end up looking like you do now?” Kai said. “You shapeshifted?”

Shou let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead. “I’m not proud of this part. I found a teenage boy who’d been hit by a car and was about to die. And I . . . “ He looked down at the ground. “It’s a normal thing on my planet, among my people.”

“You stole his body,” Kai said.

“Not just his body, but I absorbed his memory,” Shou said. “I repaired the body so I could live in it, and I went back to the boy’s family, and I became their son. Kohara Kazumasa, his name was.”

Kai was silent for a moment, thinking. So the body he loved so much was borrowed, worn by the alien inside the way a human would wear a suit of clothes. Strangely, that idea didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Maybe it was because Kai believed in the soul, in reincarnation - that all humans, basically, were walking around in temporary containers.

“I did make one change to the body, though,” Shou said, quietly. “I changed the features to better suit a human idea of beauty.”

“For your career?” Kai said.

“For you,” Shou said.

Kai nearly fell face-first into a pile of leaves. “Me? Why me?”

“I said that I wanted you to help me down the line, right?” Shou squeezed his hand. “I told you the eggs have to be nourished. We nourish them with a kind of energy we generate within ourselves. But outside our own atmosphere, generating the energy is a little tougher. We need a buildup of a certain chemical to do it. The chemical is most commonly found in human sweat.”

“But if you’re inside a human body,” Kai said, “can’t you generate your own sweat?”

“Not enough to nourish the eggs,” Shou said. “Besides, I’d be immune to my own chemical makeup. No, it has to come from another person, and I have to pull the chemical inside me when my defenses are lowered. The best time for that is . . .”

“Sex,” Kai said.

“Absolutely,” Shou said. “I needed a regular sex partner to help me save the eggs. And I decided that was going to be you. Like I said, you were kind and trustworthy. So I tracked your progress in music, and waited for our paths to cross. PSC did me a favor by signing us both.”

Boom, there it is – the meaning of all the dreams he’d had about “saving” someone. He thought he was going to have to perform some heroic act – not just screw his lover senseless.

“So every time we’ve made love, you’ve been absorbing this energy,” Kai said.

“Actually, mostly when we cuddle afterward. When I hug you after you’ve been onstage? I’m absorbing then, too, only not quite so much.”

“And that’s why you said I would think you didn’t love me, isn’t it?” Kai said. “Because I’m, well . . . a sweat bank.”

“You’re not a sweat bank,” Shou said. “You never have been. I knew I was in love with you even before we went to bed the first time. So when it happened . . . it wasn’t just about the eggs or the sweat anymore. It was because I wanted to be close to you.” He squeezed Kai’s hand again. “I want you to know I never felt love before you. Sex, but not love.”

“You went to bed with other guys before me?” Kai said.

“I had to,” Shou said. “That kind of sex isn’t something that’s usually done among my race. I had to practice. I wanted to be sure I could please you.”

“Practice?” Kai laughed. He sounded like a real musician, all right. “Shou, you sent me the other dreams, didn’t you? Over the link you talked about?”

“Actually?” Shou said. “I didn’t.”

Kai blinked. “Really?”

“No,” Shou said. “At least, not that I was aware of. Your subconscious mind was probably trying to tell you the truth.”

Okay, that made sense. His conscious mind wouldn’t be aware of the link, of Kai’s designated role in saving the eggs . . . but under the surface, part of him always knew.

And that explained why the dreams were so garbled and cryptic, too. If Shou had consciously sent them, they would have been a lot more understandable.

They walked in silence for a long moment, as Kai tried to absorb it all. Finally, he said, “You named your band after your dead planet, didn’t you?” Kai said. A-ri-su, the lettering in which Alice Nine’s name was originally written. Nine, because it was the ninth planet in their solar system.

“Yes,” Shou replied – and then stopped. “Here we are.” He gestured to a grove of trees, gnarled and ancient. And there was a definite blue glow coming from the center of them.

Kai approached, breathlessly, heart pounding. This was it. This was what it was all about, what everything had been about, from the moment Shou had arrived.

And there they were, in the center of the trees, which seemed to be guarding them like ancient sentinels. They were nearly as tall as Kai, electric blue, glowing from within . . . they seemed to emit a strong pulse, the essence of life itself.

“Oh . . . my . . . God . . .” Kai said.

“Every one of them lived,” Shou said. “They survived the crash. They can withstand earthquakes, too.”

“They’re amazing,” Kai said, walking toward one, standing about a foot from it. He held out a hand toward it, as if to touch, but didn’t dare. He seemed to be enveloped by a warm glow coming from within them.

“They know,” Shou said. “On some level, they know you’re the one I’m getting the energy from.”

“They’re conscious?” said Kai.

“Not yet,” said Shou. “Think of them as babies in the womb.”

“So how long until they hatch?”

“Sixty of your years, roughly,” Shou said.

Kai’s jaw dropped. “Sixty?” And humans complained about their pregnancies being long.

“So I have to stay here for about a whole human lifetime,” Shou said.

“And then?” said Kai.

“There’s a colony being developed on a moon in my solar system,” Shou said. “It won’t be ready for a few decades yet. I’ll take the hatchlings there. We can start New Arisu on that moon – we won’t have a whole planet to ourselves, but at least we’ll have a country, or a large city.”

“I’ll miss you when you go,” Kai said, quietly. Of course, he’d be a man in his 80s then, and probably, Shou would have tired of him, especially if he could shed that human body once it started to sicken and weaken and just pick up another . . .

Shou wrapped his arms around him. “We’ve got a long, long time until then, don’t we?” he said. “Which means we have a lot of time to be together – and a lot of eggs to feed. Watch this . . .”

Shou stepped forward, knelt on the ground with his fingertips splayed on the ground, concentrating . . .

And suddenly, there were streaks of light running through the grass, toward the eggs. They suddenly lit up in bright colors – reds, yellows, greens, purples . . . before turning back to the usual glowing blue.

“What was that?” Kai said.

“An energy discharge,” Shou said. “I just fed them.” He smiled at Kai. “Which means we have to start generating more energy again.”

Okay, so . . . he was an alien. THE alien. (Kai should have known. Should have always known. In a way . . . he DID know). Yes, Kai was being utilized as part of his mission. Yes, there was the strange knowledge that the body he loved so much wasn’t really HIS.

But he was still SHOU, wasn’t he? Inside and out. And that hadn’t changed.

“Shou,” Kai said, “that was the strangest pickup line anyone’s ever used on me.”

“Do you mind?” Shou said.

Kai slid his hand against Shou’s, threaded their fingers and squeezed. “No,” he said. “I don’t.”

Kai still wasn’t waking up. And if this part was another one of his dreams, he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

* * *

The Dream never returned after that. Now that Kai was consciously aware of the truth, it didn’t have to.

Now, when he dreamed of that incident, he saw the clearing, and Shou as he knew him, and the beautiful rows of glowing blue eggs. Sometimes, he even saw the eggs as they would become, a group of young men and women as beautiful as Shou. Yes, none of the aliens looked like socks in his dreams anymore.

And, of course, he kept supplying Shou with the energy he needed to feed the eggs, any way either of them wanted. Kai had a mission, a destiny. It was his pleasure to fulfill it.


End file.
